How I Hope You Define Beauty

Beauty has many definitions.

I first saw beauty as a way to fill a hole. If I could only find this person, I believed, then I would feel better. Beauty was an insecurity, something that I could get from the outside to fill in the inside.

This definition broke my heart over and over.

From there, beauty was an object to be had. A conquest of sorts. I found beauty in what I could have, and quickly discard, what I could hold up to the world and say look what I’ve achieved. Beauty was a victory, yet I could never be the winner.

This definition lead me to hurt others.

I then saw beauty as a way to fill a need. A functional desire to identify someone that could fill in my missing pieces, be good around people when I wasn’t, to cheer me up when I am sad, or to convince me to better myself when I wouldn’t.

This definition kept me from feeling love.

Finally, as I could find no complete example of beauty on the outside, I had to look in the mirror. I had to start with how I defined myself, how I felt about myself, and define beauty as within myself.

This is not an easy task.

It requires being ok with the parts you wish you did not have. It requires the understanding that those who would say you are not beautiful are simply stuck in the wrong definition, looking outside of themselves. And it means knowing that you are whole and complete on your own.

You are beautiful.

Three of the hardest words we can say are; I am beautiful. I encourage you to say them daily, in front of a mirror if you are really brave. When we see beauty in ourselves, when we are happy with ourselves, when we don’t need anyone to give us these things, we are best positioned to see beauty in others. I encourage you to see others in this light, through seeing the beauty in yourself first.

Beauty, therefore, is defined by you.

Because you are beautiful, you have the power to ignore those whose definition does not match yours. Because you are beautiful, you have the power to see the unique parts in yourself as they are, magnificent. Because you are beautiful, you have the power to change the world, as you see it in ways that few are brave enough to imagine.

You are the definition of beauty.

And I hope you feel the same.

Published by Brian Fretwell

Author, TEDx Speaker, Consultant Trying not to be a horrible human

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