The frustrating part of confronting my own hypocrisy, is that it so often seems to come back. Maybe not in the same form, but always in ways that can make me doubt myself, question what I am doing, or full-on hate who I have become.
My actions don’t always line up with my intentions. My intentions don’t even always line up with my own moral compass. I say one thing and do another, and have no one to blame but myself.
Accepting this, when the dust settles, is often the hardest thing to do.
Yet learning from my hypocritical moments, growing from my lapses in judgement, and moving forward after I feel like I have taken ten steps back rarely happens without acceptance.
Can I accept the fact that I am flawed? Can I accept that I make mistakes? Can I accept that I am not a perfect person? Can I do all of that…and still love myself?
I know I will try again. I know I will work harder. I know I will do better next time.
But none of that matters if I don’t accept myself. Without acceptance, my own growth becomes an exercise in hypocrisy.