The Fire Sessions

Years ago, as a Solopreneur, I felt very disconnected.

I had plenty of time with friends, lots of interactions with clients, and a great relationship with my partner, but something still felt missing.

Over time, what I realized, is that the energy I got from the successes over the week would quickly diminish, and the energy drain from the setbacks and uncertainty of the week would get worse. The disconnect I felt was not feeling like I was making an impact, .

So, knowing that I likely wasn’t the only one having this experience, I invited a group of people to meet for coffee once per week.

Initially, we would meet and talk about goals, what was going on in our business, and generally share challenges.

It was great, but it still wasn’t enough.

Fast forward fifteen years, ten of which I spent working as a facilitator on major culture change projects, and I’ve now seen the same disconnected look in the faces of thousands of people I’ve met around the world.

Because my focus was the neuroscience and psychology of change, leadership and engagement, I began to connect the underlying cause of this feeling with basic brain needs.

Three primary challenges stood out. 

1. Real, meaningful, connection is as important to our brains as food and water, but we generally don’t get anywhere near as much of it as we need. 

2. Our brains are designed to focus on the negative which causes us to miss lots of good stuff. 

3. People are meant to be on fire for something in life…otherwise they die inside well before it happens on the outside.

Those weekly meetings have changed to reflect this understanding. 

Instead of talking about goals, we talk about what is giving us life. Instead of focusing on the progress of the business, we focus on the growth of ourselves through the business. And while we still share the challenges, we remind each other of the potential to get through those challenges and create a sense of connection that is stronger than any momentary setback.

Over time, we’ve learned to focus our interactions on those things that help keep the momentum of success and quiet the noise of the negative, it builds purposeful connection that can’t found over a beer at the bar, and it keeps our fires lit in a world that seems hell bent on putting them out.

Today, we call those meetings “Fire Sessions.” They not only help with that disconnected feeling I used to have, but are starting to help many more people help others while helping themselves all while learning new skills.

If you’re interested in starting your own, and helping both your own network and yourself become more connected, join us on Friday, we’ll teach you how. 

Published by Brian Fretwell

Author, TEDx Speaker, Consultant Trying not to be a horrible human

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