Trust Your Value

It’s Not Just Names We Forget

We’re not very good at remembering things. Most of us forget someone’s name moments after we hear it for the first, or fourth, time. In our brains continual drive towards efficiency, it creates memory prioritization that is often not in line with what we would actually want to remember.

 

But names, addresses, or even someone’s birthday only cost us a little social capital. Actively forgetting important things, like our strengths, our skills, and our ability to adapt cost us a whole lot more than another awkward introduction, and they happen just as often.

 

If you talk with someone months after being laid off, or going through a challenging situation, they are likely to remember the pain, the anxiety, and the feelings of helplessness. When pressed, they might tell you about all the things that led to the hardship; market issues, bad bosses, or miss-steps.

 

What we are less likely to remember is what we did well in the midst of this struggle. What we did to get back on our feet, how well we maintained composure, or the strength we found that we didn’t know we had. Just like trying to remember someone’s name in the middle of a conversation, those things we do well become less important than the context surrounding them.

 

I don’t remember names because I’m too wrapped up in trying figure out what to say next, how I might look, or what this person does. We don’t remember what value we created in a challenging situation because we are too wrapped up in trying to keep our head above water, avoiding the negative people, or the mistakes we made. The brain’s natural prioritization system can cost us a lot.

 

To remember names, we simply make them a priority. We can ask the person about the name, the origins, or how they spell it. We can relate it to someone else we know, say it out loud three or four times, or even go so far as to write it down. If it’s important to us, if the social capital is valuable enough, we can find a way.

 

And so too with identifying our own strengths, skills, and abilities in the midst of struggle. When we realize the value of our confidence and the capital in our courage we can start making those things a priority. We can start being better at remembering the really important strengths that we are introducing to the world as they show themselves.

 

Make them a priority, find out where they came from, figure out where else you apply them, and for Pete’s sake, write them down. If you don’t remember what you did well you can’t use that ability in the future. And there’s nothing more awkward than learning the same lesson another, or four other, times again.

 

Removing Uncertainty

Uncertainty is painful. When trying to reach a goal, or pursue a specific strategy, uncertainty can make us hesitate, fill us with doubt, and kill our efficiency. We all want more certainty, but we are lead to believe certainty is just something confident people have, something we need other people to provide, or simply un-available.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Certainty is not just some personality trait that only people that have been born with the right genetic pre-disposition can access. Certainty can be created, or at least built upon, over time. And, while it does take some work, infusing plans, goals, and strategies with a little more certainty can be as easy as answering a few questions.

Why is it (the plan, goal, etc) right for us? This question forces us to consider how we are going to use our unique strengths, why it is important to us, and where, specifically, we plan to go. Answering this question creates the initial confidence that we can actually do what we are setting out to do. We don’t need some outside force, simple luck, or fluke event to make it happen. It’s going to happen because we are uniquely positioned to make it happen. You can be certain of that.

Where have we done it (the thing we are trying to do) before? The second inquiry helps us find the internal resources needed to follow through because we have all the evidence we need through having done it before. Everything is harder the first time, yet when we really distill what we are actually doing, we almost never do anything completely new the first time. How have you done something similar? when have you been successful at something just like this? And how is this goal just like the others you HAVE completed? In those answers is more certainty.

What are we trying to learn? This final question can open our eyes to where we are getting better, finding successes, and growing all along the process, as opposed to only when we cross the finish line. This focus sets the stage for growth now and in the future because we are purposely identifying it, perhaps even recording it, throughout the entire process. And nothing creates certainty like evidence of progress.

Uncertainty is painful. It keeps us up at night, steals our inspiration, and negatively effects our results. But it is something we can control. In fact, if you get good at answering these questions with all your strategies, you might just find achieving that future goal is so certain you start talking like that confident person more and more every day.

Jackie – Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes, it seems as the only thing standing in between who we are and who we want to be is the simple act of trying…again, and again, and again. Jackie is living proof that stepping into what might initially feel uncomfortable, can have great long term benefits.

We hope her answers inspire you.

What is one thing you can do today that you did not believe you could do before?

Live video. For the past year, I have been doing Live video on Facebook a few times a week. It was terrifying but I continued to do them. This week it has paid off big time as I did two live segments on our local Fox TV morning show.

How did you change this view of yourself?

I think like most people, I was so uncomfortable being on camera and hearing my voice. Through lots of practice and encouragement from others, I kept at it and now I’m much more comfortable in front of the camera and actually like it!!

What skills, talents, superpowers did you discover in the process?

I haven’t discovered any magical skills yet, but I have realized that I do have a message that people want to hear. I have been on a journey of learning about happiness and the power of positive mindset. I look at others now who think like I used to think, with so much negativity, and I want to change that mindset.

What advice would you give to someone else in a similar position?

I still have doubts about myself and what I’m doing. Does anyone really care type of thing. Imposter Syndrome or a form of it I suppose. BUT, I know in my heart that I can make a difference in at least one other person’s life so I push myself every day to be a better version of myself and share what I am learning. That is my advice-if you feel it in your heart and soul, then you have an obligation to share what you have.

 

This is another great example of what can happen if you Trust Your Value.

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