change

Jackie – Imposter Syndrome

Sometimes, it seems as the only thing standing in between who we are and who we want to be is the simple act of trying…again, and again, and again. Jackie is living proof that stepping into what might initially feel uncomfortable, can have great long term benefits.

We hope her answers inspire you.

What is one thing you can do today that you did not believe you could do before?

Live video. For the past year, I have been doing Live video on Facebook a few times a week. It was terrifying but I continued to do them. This week it has paid off big time as I did two live segments on our local Fox TV morning show.

How did you change this view of yourself?

I think like most people, I was so uncomfortable being on camera and hearing my voice. Through lots of practice and encouragement from others, I kept at it and now I’m much more comfortable in front of the camera and actually like it!!

What skills, talents, superpowers did you discover in the process?

I haven’t discovered any magical skills yet, but I have realized that I do have a message that people want to hear. I have been on a journey of learning about happiness and the power of positive mindset. I look at others now who think like I used to think, with so much negativity, and I want to change that mindset.

What advice would you give to someone else in a similar position?

I still have doubts about myself and what I’m doing. Does anyone really care type of thing. Imposter Syndrome or a form of it I suppose. BUT, I know in my heart that I can make a difference in at least one other person’s life so I push myself every day to be a better version of myself and share what I am learning. That is my advice-if you feel it in your heart and soul, then you have an obligation to share what you have.

 

This is another great example of what can happen if you Trust Your Value.

What’s your story? Submit Your Story Here

Can People Change?

We don’t seem to be very good at change. We all want to, yet the majority of us run through cycles that start with big attempts, followed by doubt after a couple set-backs, then complete inaction or regression over time. This process leads some to believe change is not possible. A belief that kills dreams and stops action before it even starts.

But, what if it’s the wrong question? What if, for most of the things we are trying to do, become, or attempt, we don’t need to change at all?

Change, by definition, is to “make or become something different.” For most people, the thought of becoming different, is a deal breaker from the start. It’s scary, it seems foreign, and history does not seem to be on our side. Yet, most of the “change” I have experienced in my own life, or helped other people with in theirs, has very little to do with becoming something different.

In many cases, people aren’t changing at all, they are adapting. And adapting is something people are really good at. People adapt to changing environments, requirements, and challenges all of the time. They battle cancer, they raise kids with little or no money, they learn to thrive after horrible accidents, and they make the best of really crappy situations. Every one of us has had to adapt and every one of us has been successful at it.

The reason we do this so well at adapting is because the focus is the exact opposite of how most people view change. When you talk with someone that has had to adapt to something challenging, they often say things like, “I didn’t know I had it in me!” or “I didn’t know I could be so strong!” They say things that indicate something being drawn out of them, about finding out who they really are, and not about them being something different. The difference is form not being.

This same process happens when people adapt their current talents in new directions. A consistent smoker becomes a consistent runner because they focus on adapting there proven habit of consistency. A passionate advocate becomes a passionate salesperson because they adapt the passion they already know is available. And the most hard headed, pain in the ass employee, becomes the most dedicated and driven manager because they adapt the underlying grit in a new direction.

Can people change? Who cares? They can adapt, and we can help them do that, but only if we are willing to draw out the strengths they already have.

Can you change? Who cares? You can adapt your underlying strength, your unique genius, and your individual passions to whatever direction you want. But only if you are willing to recognize them and bring them out.

We fail at “change” so often because we continue to try be someone we aren’t instead of realizing, and drawing out, the greatness that is already within. Start focusing on what is within and you might just find outcomes that look a lot like change on the outside. Only you’ll know the secret. The greatness was there are along.

Plotting Your Come-Back

All of us have set-backs, times in our lives when things don’t turn out as planned. We lose jobs, fall short of goals, or find ourselves off of the path we originally intended to follow. When this happens, we can often start to believe that we need to create a whole new plan, transform ourselves completely, or make entirely new goals.

However, if you are currently in this position, I will ask you to pump the breaks for a second. Before you go out and re-write your entire professional or life plan, consider the idea that you might not need a total life transformation, you might just need to plot your come-back.

People in the midst of a set-back can be pretty hard on themselves. Their brains seem to focus only on those things that they did wrong, decisions they regret, and perceived shortcomings. They say things like “I shouldn’t have done this.” ” I’m not good enough” or “I’m a failure.” And, with these thoughts, they go about the business of throwing the baby out with the bathwater and attempting to start over with a clean slate.

This tendency, based on the brain’s expert ability to pick up on threats, is not only inefficient, it is often very ineffective, setting the person up for yet another set-back. It can be demoralizing and frustrating, because it feels like everything you did before was for naught.

It doesn’t have to be. If you are willing to see your backstory as the set up for the exciting future instead of the last steps before a tragic ending. Creating a come-back story is not only more effective, it’s also more exciting.

In a come-back story, what you went through simply prepared you for the big win you might not yet see around the corner. The come-back story doesn’t throw out the past, it uses it to design the future. In fact, a come-back recognizes that, without the challenges of the past, the future would not even be possible.

Instead of thinking “I shouldn’t have done this,” a come-back focus would say, “this gave me the skills for something, I just have to be open to what that is.” The same with not being good enough or a failure. Come-back stories see those as “I know more about what I’m uniquely good at” and “I had the courage to try something challenging.” When plotting a come-back, all past experiences simply add depth to the story, they make it more interesting, and provide clues to the future.

What past events have provided insight for your next breakthrough? What superpower did that rough experience give you that you can now use in the world? How are your goals the same as they were before, even if they look and sound a little different? These are the questions that build a great come-back story and the answers can help you plot your next steps.

We all have set backs. Those challenges are what makes a good story. So, instead of throwing out the book, keep writing, things are just starting to get interesting. Your past story may have all the information you need to create amazing future chapters. The next chapter is much easier to write than an entirely new book.

Professional Cruise Control

They call it a plateau. It’s that comfortable place we can get to in our careers or even in our businesses. Things are going well, on paper, and putting things on cruise control is super enticing.

 

It can also be the most dangerous time any of us can experience professionally. As scary as a set-back or transition can seem, nothing should be less scary than being in a professional plateau. Because, while we try to ignore it, the potential risk that a plateau presents professionally far exceeds all others.

 

Years ago, in the industrial economy, we could get away with being in a plateau for some time. Industries were more stable long term and jobs stuck around for a much longer period of time. If you were in a plateau, you could survive, your position was probably not going anywhere anytime soon.

 

Not so today. Stability is not something we get to experience in any industry for more than a couple of years. And the definition of long term employment has changed from twenty plus years to about five in under fifteen. In-demand skills, experiences, and knowledge change faster than at any other time in history.

 

The comfort we used to look for is irrelevance in disguise. Every moment that we are not challenging ourselves, moving toward what is next, and questioning where our current skill set can meet future needs, the economy moves forward without us. It’s not that we can’t be happy, content or comfortable in the here and now, it’s simply that we have to define those things in the context of learning, of growing, and being naturally inspired by what we are doing right now.

 

Deep down, when we are honest with ourselves, we know that without that growth, learning, and inspiration, we’re not really comfortably anyway. We were never meant to be on cruise control, it’s not a natural state, and the comfort we think we feel isn’t the actual experience. Inside, the part of us we are ignoring, the one that knows our potential, is screaming, keeping us up at night, and creating a void that cannot be filled with anything but the next real challenge.

 

Plateau’s are simply the false summits that keep us from experiencing real engagement. We can either lie to ourselves, trying desperately to convince ourselves that we are happy, content, and doing just fine, or we can put on our big kid pants, take a risk, find a challenge, and move forward into that scary and exciting next hill to climb. Both are scary, but only one will create the real comfort, internal and external, that we are truly seeking.

A Job You Like

We used to be able to do jobs we didn’t care about. In an industrial economy, you didn’t have to like what you did, you just had to have the discipline to keep doing it.

Today, because of how things have changed, liking what you do is no longer a luxury. That does not mean that you have to be in love with your job, or be completely passionate, or choose it over a beer with friends in the evening. What it does mean, however, is that you do have to care about it enough to keep doing it when things get uncertain.

The thing that has changed from forty years ago to now, the thing that makes it so important that we like what we do today, is the increased amount, speed and impact change has on our lives and businesses than it did before.

Forty years ago, you could plan on being in the same gig for more than twenty years, today, you’re lucky to get five. Forty years ago, a buy-out, merger or acquisition was a once in a lifetime experience, today it happens every other month.

If you don’t like what you do, your ability to keep motivated through the uncertainty that this economy creates on a daily basis will be limited at best, nonexistent at worst. Discipline is created, in part, when the brain believes that the outcome we are seeking is possible and, therefore, the input is worth the expenditure of energy.

If you like what you are doing, the outcome that creates the discipline is simply about getting better. When the outcome is questionable at best, the brain begins to wonder if it is worth the energy. We no longer have the certainty of the lifetime job, the pension, or the job security. No outcome, no motivation.

We used to be able to do jobs we didn’t care about. Now, if we are to stay motivated through the unknowns of change, we no longer have the luxury.